Okay, I'll admit that it would be easy to get on here and talk about how my wife's "this" or "that", and take the opportunity to bitch about every little thing she does that pisses me off.
And, while I'll definitely be sharing some of the funnier things she does over time, and YES, I warned her I might, I'm not going to just rip her a new one for the sake of doing so.
Wouldn't be fair.
Wouldn't be right.
After all, she's the woman who chose (willingly, I think) to spend the rest of her life with me. Even though my Dad repeatedly tried to warn her not to. I wish I was kidding about that, but for those of you who knew my dad, you know I'm not.
I'll be the first one to admit: I'm not the easiest person to get along with, much less in a relationship (and, suddenly, many of his ex-girlfriends who actually READ this bullshit called out "Amen, Brother!"). I'm moody, look for any opportunity to spend time by myself, and, frankly, cannot STAND to ever be wrong. (Hey...now I sound JUST LIKE DAD! Holy shit, they were right!)
And, as I've pointed out to her on numerous occasions, if she'd met me even five years earlier than she did, she'd have hated my fucking guts.
So, what's changed?
I'd like to think that I have, in some way. I mean, I know when I was a teenager I was an absolute shit. Then again, who wasn't? I mean, while I do have some friends who married their high school sweetheart, a great many of us didn't, or, if we did, we're now on spouse 2 (or in some cases, 3 or 4). I was easily swayed by the opinions of my friends, and therefore didn't make decisions on relationships based solely on my heart and mind, but on my level of popularity.
Of course, even when I DID, I was driven by a certain hormonal need that tended to end relationships pretty quickly. Yeah.....teenage boys are SUCH assholes.
Okay, so throw high school out of the picture. It's been 22 years since I graduated. How come it took 15 years to find "the perfect match"?
Great question.
See, during that period of time, I've been involved in three relationships I would define as serious and long term. The first was during college, and I let that one disintegrate because of my own substantial ego combined with the beginning of some serious alcoholism. However, in the intervening years we've been able to talk as friends, and I'm proud to count her as one of my Facebook friends. The second relationship, and also the first time I was ever engaged, I would say wasn't a "real" equal-partnership relationship. It was about me trying to mold someone younger than me into the partner I wanted her to be instead of loving her for who she was. Fortunately for her, she was smart enough to realize she was better off without me than with me, and, again, I'm pleased to be able to say she's a Facebook friend, and someone I still see in person from time to time and can converse pleasantly with (hey, that really means something, considering there was a time that breaking up with me meant you got the big FUCK YOU...which meant I didn't want to have SHIT to do with you. Ever.)
That brings me to my beautiful wife. What the hell changed in me to have not screwed this up? Oh, believe me, I've done shit during our 7+ years together (almost 6 of them married) that probably should have made her kick me to the curb. However, she hasn't. She chose instead to work with me and work through the issues.
That's when I FINALLY figured it out.
A relationship is about give and take, and those have to balance out in the end.
Yeah, I know...FUCKING DUH, dumbass!!!!
Well, you have to know me to know how hardheaded I can be sometimes. Like I said, I'm a real shit to live with.
But, my wife puts up with all of that and still loves me anyway. Hell, she had my birthday present and a really awesome card ready on the table when I got home from work about an hour ago. Seriously. She rocks that much.
It was a hell of a road that got me to her, but now I can't see travelling the path with anyone else.
I love you, honey.
Oh, and if any of you think I wrote all of this in some lame attempt to get laid........you're wrong.
She knows better than to believe my bullshit when she thinks I want to get some. :-)
After years of dealing with jerks and assholes, and some "nice guys" in between, I ended up with my best friend, my BFF! I am so lucky and so blessed to have found Wayne. To those of you who have known him longer, I used to be jealous of our time missed out when we could've been together had we known one another earlier. But after years of being with him, and also listening to his explanations of how we wouldn't have been right for one another before, so I'm not jealous anymore. I'm just glad we get to spend the rest of our lives together in wedded bliss (okay, maybe not "bliss," but we'll be together through it all). He's truly my rock, my salvation, my eternal comedian (RIP Chris Farley!), my biggest fan and encourager, my therapist, and my husband. Without him I truly don't know how I'd make it. It was a long, hard journey to find him, and its been a long, hard journey together, but we have each other to lean on. So thankful. So blessed.
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